may 13th.
i was struck this year how one day can hold a dozen different meanings for people. for some this day was about birthdays, anniversaries of a tragic tornado (kalamazoo tornado), wedding days, even the proposed day of ascension for Christ.
my definition of this day is that it's my wedding anniversary. it would have been ten years.
mike and i had talked about how we wanted to celebrate our ten year anniversary. our plans took us to places like ireland or italy, perhaps a trip to aruba where we would linger on the beach, being lazy.
it's now a day that mingles the joy and sadness.
i loved being married. to mike.
our wedding day was sweet and loving. we were young, hopeful and naive on our wedding day. over the years we knew love to be something that doesn't exist only in happiness but in quiet moments, simple places, and even in the face of our brokenness. i am deeply grateful for my eight years of marriage.
and i hate that is all i had.
i've made it a new tradition to mark this day to go out for a date with a dear friend. we eat at a favorite restaurant that mike and i would have celebrated at.
and i remember.
our love, our failures, what made me giddy about mike, what i miss about him.
this year my lovely friend kristin was my date. we made plans to dine at rose's. we walked by reed's lake and i told kristin the story of how mike proposed to me at this park. we had a fun meal (despite an obnoxiously large party of college kids...but rose's management took care of us! another reason why it's such a classy restaurant) and lingered over some steamy lattes.
kristin gave me eight yellow roses, to mark my years with mike.
she, like so many of you, entered into this day with me. your notes, messages, remembrance filled my heart. it's amazing where love shows up.
the day was not without some laughter. in addition to my flowers, kristin brought with us into the car two white balloons. i didn't ask her at first what they were for, trusting that she would share when it was right. as we drove off to rose's i decided to open up my sunroof. we finally had some sunshine here in michigan and i wanted to breathe in some fresh spring air. we then both heard a zipping noise, as the white balloons were sucked out of the sunroof and into the sky. as i glanced at them in my rearview mirror we both sat there in shock and laughter soon emerged. i felt so bad that they had flown away pre-maturely and yet it was such a comical moment! kristin shared that the two white balloons were to represent my two years without mike and we were going to release them over reed's lake. while it would have been beautiful to have had that moment, we embrace the accidental joy that came from the balloons breaking free.
so i found my way through another day where the grief seems to be a bit deeper. but i just have to look at my window sill, where a ball of yellow flowers sits and remember that i have known love with mike and i continue to know love because of you.
i was struck this year how one day can hold a dozen different meanings for people. for some this day was about birthdays, anniversaries of a tragic tornado (kalamazoo tornado), wedding days, even the proposed day of ascension for Christ.
my definition of this day is that it's my wedding anniversary. it would have been ten years.
mike and i had talked about how we wanted to celebrate our ten year anniversary. our plans took us to places like ireland or italy, perhaps a trip to aruba where we would linger on the beach, being lazy.
it's now a day that mingles the joy and sadness.
i loved being married. to mike.
our wedding day was sweet and loving. we were young, hopeful and naive on our wedding day. over the years we knew love to be something that doesn't exist only in happiness but in quiet moments, simple places, and even in the face of our brokenness. i am deeply grateful for my eight years of marriage.
and i hate that is all i had.
i've made it a new tradition to mark this day to go out for a date with a dear friend. we eat at a favorite restaurant that mike and i would have celebrated at.
and i remember.
our love, our failures, what made me giddy about mike, what i miss about him.
this year my lovely friend kristin was my date. we made plans to dine at rose's. we walked by reed's lake and i told kristin the story of how mike proposed to me at this park. we had a fun meal (despite an obnoxiously large party of college kids...but rose's management took care of us! another reason why it's such a classy restaurant) and lingered over some steamy lattes.
kristin gave me eight yellow roses, to mark my years with mike.
she, like so many of you, entered into this day with me. your notes, messages, remembrance filled my heart. it's amazing where love shows up.
the day was not without some laughter. in addition to my flowers, kristin brought with us into the car two white balloons. i didn't ask her at first what they were for, trusting that she would share when it was right. as we drove off to rose's i decided to open up my sunroof. we finally had some sunshine here in michigan and i wanted to breathe in some fresh spring air. we then both heard a zipping noise, as the white balloons were sucked out of the sunroof and into the sky. as i glanced at them in my rearview mirror we both sat there in shock and laughter soon emerged. i felt so bad that they had flown away pre-maturely and yet it was such a comical moment! kristin shared that the two white balloons were to represent my two years without mike and we were going to release them over reed's lake. while it would have been beautiful to have had that moment, we embrace the accidental joy that came from the balloons breaking free.
so i found my way through another day where the grief seems to be a bit deeper. but i just have to look at my window sill, where a ball of yellow flowers sits and remember that i have known love with mike and i continue to know love because of you.
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