better.

In years past I have grieved this day, your birthday, because your life ended too soon, so abrupt.  There was too much of life to experience still.  Traveling, deepening your vocation as a counselor, becoming a dad, experiencing amazing bands like Mumford & Sons, be in community with our family and friends.  Every time I taste the sweetness of life, I ache that you're not here to savor it with me.

But it's better for you.  

Yes, better.

Just the other day in church we sang a hymn, a favorite hymn of yours.  As the church joined in song, all I could hear was your voice, your guitar.  With my eyes teary, throat tight I couldn't utter the words.  Instead I read the lyrics and they lead me to where you are now.

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

 

 And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
 
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"



The better.

Shalom. 

Before God's full glory.

And I knew that this hymn is not just words for you to sing, but you're living in the embodiment of them.

I confess that my finite heart still can't fully understand it all.  But today instead of aching against what is no more for you, I will let joy fill my heart and celebrate who you were to us and who you are now.  Better.