milk toasts...

i wanted to be able to enter today, mike's birthday, celebrating him like i always loved to do. growing up birthdays were pretty simple in mike's family, but i love to make a big deal of them. so i often had to encourage mike to receive my celebration, that he deserved people making a big-to-do over him.

i wanted today to be a day where my heart was filled with joy in remembrance of mike...but everything in me is hurting. i want him to be here so i can wake him up in the morning with "happy birthday baby", i want to be able to hug and kiss him, i want to take him out for a decadent meal at a favorite restaurant, i want him to receive dozens of notes/cards/phone calls from everyone who loves him.

i wish my heart was ready to just celebrate, but it's just filled with grief, ache, loneliness.

so maybe today you can celebrate him for me. remember him, who he was, a favorite moment. and raise a cold glass of milk (his absolute favorite drink of choice) and toast to our amazing mike...