the past few days i've been wrestling with the question have i made a difference, an impact during my time here at calvin? i guess we all want to know that our presence is significant...it's hard to think that in a year or two the students here won't know who i am. and i'm left wondering if the students i engage with now will have somehow received something from my attempts to serve them. will they remember me as fondly as i will remember them?
and this leads me to another question...how will i make the transition from having a community of college students around 24/7 to living in a world where there will be more autonomy? just the other night i went on staff retreat with my 6 RA's and i was so refreshed by their friendship! but what are the dangers/risks that my 6 RA's who are 20-21 years old are more of a community for me than peers my own age? i fear the loneliness, the absence of accessible community here in the halls. i know these will be growing pains for me next year...hopefully i'll enter into with grace and honesty.
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