makin' a difference?

the past few days i've been wrestling with the question have i made a difference, an impact during my time here at calvin? i guess we all want to know that our presence is significant...it's hard to think that in a year or two the students here won't know who i am. and i'm left wondering if the students i engage with now will have somehow received something from my attempts to serve them. will they remember me as fondly as i will remember them?

and this leads me to another question...how will i make the transition from having a community of college students around 24/7 to living in a world where there will be more autonomy? just the other night i went on staff retreat with my 6 RA's and i was so refreshed by their friendship! but what are the dangers/risks that my 6 RA's who are 20-21 years old are more of a community for me than peers my own age? i fear the loneliness, the absence of accessible community here in the halls. i know these will be growing pains for me next year...hopefully i'll enter into with grace and honesty.

what's next...

now that the energy of the holiday season has died down, it's starting to set in more than we only have a few months left here at calvin college. which stirs up a lot of questions...one being what's next for me?

i sit in a tension of my hopes and realities...i tend to be more practical in my plans and am not very good at being still. but i feel like i'm being called to rest for a season and allow there to be space to dream and discover possibilities.

one of those possibilities that seems to be building is my photography. i got a taste of having a photography business while in seattle. this past summer i picked it up again and shot two weddings. and i have 4 weddings already booked for this summer. i am working with a graphic designer to develop some marketing (web-site, brochures,etc...) so hopefully "kp photography" will soon be on-line. till then this is my portfolio i've got on-line. if you know anyone looking for family/senior portraits or wedding work in the michigan area, i'm taking clients. http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8caMmzZqzi4

other job ideas that are on the table:
coffee barista (return to my starbuck's days)
part-time work at calvin college
counseling
running a trader joe's store (which i am currently petitioning they build one in GR)
work at an art gallery
work at target (just for the discounts!!!)

till then the house is keeping us busy...mike's dad has been very generous with his time, putting up new electrical work in the basement. i'm picking out paint colors (could there be any more shades of "white"???). it's all a bit overwhelming but we're grateful for it...